Nissa Guest

No matter what your spiritual orientation or age, you’ve probably gone through the experience of dating.  Young, or more mature, the nervousness and vulnerability remain the same.  However, for those with a strong commitment to spirituality, there is an extra dimension to this search for “the one”.  Finding a mate that has a commitment to spirituality at the same level is not just convenience, it is part of your commitment to your spirituality.  

There are some common practices and ideas among religious practioners  that have a committed relationship to their faith. Many say that their relationship with God comes first, then all other relationships follow.  Most have significant portions of time allocated to daily practices which bring them closer to God and deepen their religious experience.

 It’s fair to say that if you date someone whose faith is at a different level, this is likely to be an obstacle. This is true even if you share the same type of spirituality and church. Some potential mates may not agree on what constitutes “putting God first”, or that it is an excuse to demand your way. Time is another issue that is highly subjective – what is “a lot” to one person may be “not enough” to someone else.  If your religious practices include a ban on premarital sex, alcohol or certain foods, it is reasonable to expect that if you date someone who does not have those practices, you will be having conflict on those issues on an almost daily basis.    

Therefore, as a spiritual person who is dating, it is well worth your time to outline some parameters by including religious commitments in your dating resume.  

One way to do this is to go to events or sites that include this, like online dating services spiritualsingles.com or lawofattractionsingles.com . However, those sites may have members that are geographically undesirable. There’s also SingleChristians.org, which lists several Southern California groups and events. SinglePassion.org has listings of local dances, including a once-a-month dance at D&D dance studio in Riverside.  For local events ages 30 and under, try Harvest’s The Well on Friday nights.  For those over 30, try Harvest Singles on Friday nights at or San Bernardino’s The Rock church’s singles.

Whatever you choose, you can’t go wrong by having fun and being open to the possibilities.